Parents Have Stopped Asking Certain Questions

By Dr Petero Wamala

Have you noticed that many parents no longer ask one particular question?

Not because they have stopped caring.

Not because they have lost hope.

But because they have become afraid of the answer.

“How are things going?”

Once upon a time, that question was ordinary. It was asked over breakfast, during a Sunday visit, or while driving home together.

Today, many parents quietly avoid it.

Not because their son or daughter is lazy.

Not because they lack education.

But because every conversation seems to carry an invisible weight.

The answer may be another contract that ended after six months.

Another business that showed promise but quietly folded.

Another interview that never resulted in a phone call.

Another year of trying very hard without gaining much traction.

So families adapt.

They talk about football.

They discuss politics.

They laugh about neighbours.

They ask about the weather.

Everything except the question that matters most.

A strange silence settles into homes that were once filled with dreams.

Yet this silence is often misunderstood.

Parents assume their son or daughter no longer wants advice.

The son or daughter assumes the parents are disappointed.

Both continue loving each other.

Both continue worrying.

Neither knows how to begin the conversation.

Perhaps this is one of the quietest family crises of our time.

Not conflict.

Not rebellion.

Not a lack of love.

Simply two generations trying to protect each other from disappointment.

But silence has never solved uncertainty.

Perhaps what many educated young adults need is not another certificate, nor another motivational speech.

Perhaps they need help turning what they already know into something the world can recognise, value and reward.

Perhaps they need knowledge activation.

And perhaps what parents need most is permission to ask the question again—not with judgment, but with curiosity, hope and a willingness to walk the journey together.

Because sometimes the most important conversation in a family is the one that has not been happening.
Have you noticed?